


A Very Special Sam Wilson Pesach

by maastrictian



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Jewish Comics Day, Judaism, M/M, Pesach | Passover, jewishcomicsday
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 09:25:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7042396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maastrictian/pseuds/maastrictian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Wilson hosts the first Avengers passover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Special Sam Wilson Pesach

_Kadesh_  
"I'm not so easy that a cheap trick is going to work on me, Wilson."  
"You are exactly that easy, Stark." Sam paused, "What the fuck are you talking about?"  
Tony spread his arms to encompass the Avengers dining room. The table was covered with a white cloth and a dozen places were set. Tony seemed to take particular interest in the dozen bottles of wine that were set on the sideboard.  
“You are trying to get me drunk and take advantage of me.”  
“I am hosting a seder – which I invited you to three weeks ago and you said you had some benefit to go to.”  
“I lied. I didn’t realize there would be so much alcohol involved.” Tony looked him up and down. “Besides, you don’t look Jewish.”  
Sam’s look stopped Tony in his tracks “You sure about that?” Tony opened his mouth, but Sam continued, “Sit, everyone will be in here in five minutes anyway.”  


* * *

_Urchatz_  
“So why are we washing our hands?” asked Rhodey.  
“Good hygiene – so important,” quipped Steve.  
“Captain Rogers, I would appreciate a fuller understanding of this ritual, please,” said Vision, directing his attention back to Sam.  
“Thanks Viszh. The point of a lot of the things we do tonight is to get us to ask questions, actually.”  
The Vision was confused, “So, the answer to Colonel Rhodes’s question is to encourage him to ask the question?”  
“You’ve got it,” replied Sam, but it was clear that Vision did not.  


* * *

_Karpas_  
“I’ve been duped,” said Tony, holding up a limp piece of celery.  
“I bet a lot of ladies say that about your celery,” remarked Steve.  
Sam sighed, “Eat the damn karpas, man.”  


* * *

_Yachatz_  
Sam called across the table, half laughing, “You just pick up the matzo and break it, Natasha.” But the redhead was reluctant to touch the unleavened bread. She had been cautious – more cautious than normal – about the whole ceremony so far.  
Clint leaned over and elbowed her in the side. He said, gently, “It’s not going to bite, Nat.”  
“I know,” she replied in a low voice, only for his ears, “it’s been so long. And I’m not really Jewish anyway.”  
“Your dad was Jewish,” Clint reminded her, but she protested.  
“That doesn’t count.”  
“You’re Jewish in my book,” Sam cut in, “and it’s my Seder.”  
Natasha took the bread with eager yet trembling hands, and broke it with a loud crack.  


* * *

_Maggid_  
“Ilu hotzi-hotzianu, hotzianu mimitzrayim, hotzianu mi mitzrazyim dayenu.”  
Sam carried the verses, but everyone came in for the chorus.  
“Day-dayenu, day-dayenu, day-dayenu, dayenu DAY-E-NU!”  


* * *

_Rachtzah_  
“If you need to wash your dick we understand.”  
“I’ll wash your mouth, Rogers,” Tony shot back.  
“I’d like to see you try.”  
“Would you two like to get a room?” sighed Wanda.  
Natasha said with a smile, “Fight nice, children.”  


* * *

_Motzi Matzo_  
“Oh my god, do we finally get to eat?” exclaimed Tony.  
“The good news is that, yes, yes we do,” said Sam, cautiously.  
Clint cut in, “The bad news is that it’s Matzo!”  


* * *

_Maror_  
Tears were pouring down Steve’s face. Clint doubled over with pain. Tony coughed up the horseradish, sputtering. Rhodey leaned back from the table. If he didn’t know these people so well he’d be surprised by their stupidity.  
Natasha took another bite of the maror, not even a tremble crossing her face.  


* * *

_Koreich_  
“This is still not food, I was promised food,” complained Tony.  


* * *

_Shulchan Oreich_  
No one said anything – the brisket was too good.  


* * *

_Tzafun_  
“You’re in trouble now, Wilson.” Tony was practically strutting around the room, “If you want your afi-whatever back you need to bribe the richest superhero in the world.”  
“Third richest,” said Natasha, “And besides, I stole it from you two hours ago.”  
Tony deflated.  
Clint smiled, “Nice try, Nat, but I stole it from you after manishtana.”  
“I stole it from you after that,” replied Natasha.  
“I mean, obviously I stole it back right after you got it.”  
It took twenty minutes to work out who had the afikomen.  


* * *

_Bareich_  
“Pour out Your wrath upon the nations that do not acknowledge You, and upon the kingdoms that do not call upon Your Name. For the have devoured Jacob and laid waste his habitation. Pour out Your indignation upon them, and let the wrath of your anger overtake them. Pursue them with anger, and destroy them from beneath the heavens of the Lord.” Wanda read the difficult words with feeling, tears in her eyes. She remembered her father’s tattoo.  


* * *

_Hallel_  
The Vision explained that he could process the hymns of thanksgiving 87% faster than a baseline human. No one had any objections.  


* * *

_Nirtzah_  
Wanda was asleep under the table. Clint had made it to a couch, but was equally unconscious.  
“Eppel vil nisht faln, un eppel vil nisht faln / Geshikt der Har – a hindt in vald arein,” they sang.  
“Valdarein,” exclaimed Steve, “Like that planet in Star War!”  
“That’s Alderan, you dummy.” Sam gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
“There was not enough alcohol at this thing,” muttered Tony. “I was duped.”


End file.
